Relationships can be hard, whether you are single or part of a couple. Sometimes it seems that nothing is working. You may have tried to ‘change your ways’ but before long you are back to where you are.


It’s frustrating, watching others develop a long-term, loving relationship. Frustrating and lonely.


If you are struggling with dating or finding your relationship cold and empty, then get in touch.


Together, we will explore what’s holding you back and what it is that you are really looking for. Then, we will work on ways so that you can have what you want – a long-term, loving relationship.

Jump to the relevant section for you:​


Singles Counselling.

Thank you for your help, your attentive listening, your patience, your confronting questions and your attitude in helping me see things in perspective. It has really helped me a lot in my journey over the past few years. – C. (35)

I'm open to new single clients. Costs are 100 euro per 50 minute session with a maximum of 12 sessions. For more information and to schedule an appointment fill out the contactform. 


Couples Counselling.

Just to let you know you did an amazing job on our marriage. A. is slowly recovering from his depression and started working again. You helped us to recognize our emotions and talk through them instead of avoiding them. Our sexual life has also much improved. Things are starting to fall into place. We are so thankful for your help in a time we really needed it. E and A (32&38)

As a Christian EFT couples counsellor I also offer couples sessions at 125 euro's per session of 1 hour 15 minutes. Fill out the contactform for more information and to book a session. 


My Qualifications & Experience.

I’ve graduated from a two year postdoctoral education to become a licensed psychologist and I’ve finished training at the International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focussed Therapy (ICEEFT) to become an internationally registered couples counsellor.

I offer couples counselling following the EFT model, helping couples to better understand and love each other.

You can read more on this model at the ICEEFT website or in Sue Johnsons excellent book Hold me Tight (Created for Connection is the Christian version of this same book). I have specialised in working with Christian couples but I will see any couple.

I’ve also specialised in working with singles who want to be in a relationship, using that same EFT model. I offer them help figuring out what’s keeping them from being in a relationship and how to change those dynamics. You can find details of my latest book at the website Dare to Date and it’s available from Amazon.

Qualifications and Confidentiality

  • I am registered in the Dutch BIG register, a register for Health professionals who qualify to work with clients according to a very strict regulated system (

  • I’m also registered at the ICEEFT ( 

Being a registered health professional binds me to an ethical framework as described for example here:

Single in Church book | Aukelien van Abbema

Singles in Church

Short teaser text about the book and what the read will gain from clicking here.

Dare to Date book | Aukelien van Abbema

Dare to date

Begin a whole new romantic adventure filled with hope, joy and a lot of laughter.

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